WHEN MOUTHS TASTE LIKE SHIT

From now on all my titles for posts are going to sound like Jerry Springer/Ricki Lake/Dirty Jerermy Kyle shows.

My mouth does taste like shit. Im still trying to remember the latter half of last night but I can't.

What can I remember? Went to the Highwayman and had somebodies purple sprouting on brocolli on somebodies feliuliuliui;;;;lliii of pastry with someones fantastically cut baby leeks. It wa one of those pretentious menus.Personally I love pretentious menus, the one at the Highwayman is the best I have seen.

I drank cider. Came back to the pub and saw Ange - the one who has been slagging me off for some reason. I tried to talk to her about it. I asked her what exactly her problem was with me. She said she didnt have one, so I asked her why she kept telling people I was a bitch and the soooner I left the better. Her voice was a bit shakey and she made up some story about how I ignore her and keep her waiting at the bar blah blah blah. Im going to have fun with that one I can tell you.

Anyway, went to the Vale with Claire and met Kay and Yarnold, Again, drank cider and we broke some kids hair band up trying to make the perfect inch. I decided that I shouuld have my leaving do there, its really pretty. Got the bus into town. Saw Shell in here, shes got a black eye and loads of bruises, her boyfriend beat her up, so I was talking to her for a bit. (it starts to get hazy about now) I was on cheeky vimtos by now. Was talking to Tim that used to have the Kings Head. For some reason I went with him, some guy with a really hairy silver chest and Malc from the Blueberry to The Crown in Bollington then The Admiral Rodney. I drank bitter and cant remember anthing else. I pulled my usual "wheres my bag" when I didnt have it with me to begin with. The hairy chest man took me out the back of the Rodney and showed me where Charlie Stubbs from Corronation Street lived. I saw him watching tv but for some reason when I got back to here I told everyone I saw him in the pub -

WHEN DRUNKS LIE


Totally cant remember anything else. I feel well ill, think im going to chunder