I am sick to death of everyone having a effing opinion about me doing one to Canada. Well no, not them having an opinion, just of them telling me I'm wrong to go, I wont like it and blah blah blah. I have just had someone I know going on about how bad I am because I'm proably going to have to leave Benson here.
I cry about this everyday. I have had him for 6 years. Hes a fantasically lovely and beautiful dog. Hes like my best friend. But hes old and arthritic. He doesnt move like he used to and gets freaked out going anywhere in a car. How the frig will he be on a 9 odd hour plane flight then a 6 hour drive to a country that is minus 30 alot of the time or over 30 the rest. I dont know where I will be living, what I will be working. Its so hard.
Everyday I imagine how hard it will be to say goodbye,it makes me cry - Im crying now. I dont know what to do for the best. I want to take him it just doesnt feel right. I understand hes a dog, if hes fed walked and watered he will be happy. I got him from a dogs home and I dont for one minute think that he misses whoever first owned him.
I certainly then dont need some drunk judging me.
I'm sorry, but I wont miss this job. All I get is people judging me and Im sick of it. I suppose we all do. I had to eject this arsehole today and he just make it all personal.He was rude, threatening and obnoxious but still I walked him home like a knob head.
Its so unneccessary Its shit. I hate the responsibility, the hours, the unsociableness of it all. The having to be happy all the time, the being the first up and being the last to bed. The fact that anyone can walk in through the door and do anything. I hate feeling like its going to kick off when I know it probably wont. I hate it for making me so down on people. Its been 8 years nearly, I think I'm allowed to.
Its not all bad, there are some really nice people in here, probably something like 99% are the bestest, nicest, coolest,finest people you could ever want to meet. But that one percent overshadows it all.
Hark at me, Im a moaning machine. I hope I haven't upset anyone. I think I just need a break.
Anyway, who knows what joy might be install tomorrow. Jacko is having a party in the hall behind us, he's got a bucking bronco and live bands. I'm quite excited. I have invited that man I fancied for ages but I havent heard back from him. I was well rude to him last night. I need to lose my righteous streak that i apparent whilst bevvied up. Its so unattractive
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
Bless you don't be sad, Benson will be fine its the bloody beagle that you should be worried about. I don't envy you having to take that bundle of trouble on that journey. x
Don't blame you Kat!! 7 years running a pub in mac left me feeling exactly same...Go 4 it and get out while u can....I now spend my days sat on a beach drinking ale til sun goes down....and the view is a lot better than Pickford St too!!!
Post a Comment