HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A BEAGLE FLY?

I haven't but mine does.

I have just made a ton of cheese, ham and coleslaw sandwiches for the pool team.
I wrapped them in a load of clingfilm on a tray and put them right at the back, up on the kitchen cupboard.

I then went down in to the pub.

I was probably in the bar for 5 minutes tops. I came back upstairs and there is a guilty looking hound sat at the back door. No, surely not......

I go to the kitchen and look and sure enough 3 buns are missing. So I shout at him, re-wrap them and put it above the sink. Now, its really high up.

I go into the front room to watch these muppets on the Apprentice, there is a noise in the kitchen. I go out to look and bam, a bun is gone again. This bastard must be able to fly. He could never reach it surely.

Same thing last week. I put the bin on the cooker, a domino pizza box on top of the bin and a box of dominos chicken something on top of the box. The chicken is eye height to me. I went downstairs, came back and Jeremy is on the roof eating the chicken.

Im putting CCTV in the kitchen. I need to see this flying beagle for myself.

If I was designing something for this dog product apprentice thing I would make something like a rucksack for the dog to wear. A strap that would go aroung their front legs and a sack that would sit on their back. In that bag they could carry their own shit. Thats all I want from life. It would have to look cool, but that could be done.

Sir Alan, if you are reading this give me a call.... can start as soon as!