BEYONCE KNOWLES - YOU OWE ME 2 HOURS OF MY LIFE

OH

MY

GOD

I dont watch many films, I hardly ever go to the pictures. The last time was Walk the Line until tonight...there are no words.

It was my fault, I picked it.

I dont know why. I was feeling a bit down so I thought it sounded like a "pick me up"sort of film, instead Im worried it has pushed something important out of my brain to make room in my head to watch it. We only stayed to the end to see if R Kelly had anything to do with directing or producing it cos it well turned in to a hip-hopera half way through.

God it was awful. It was God awful. I dont ever want to hear anyone sing again. Music is now ruined for me.

More interestingly though, after Kay picked me up at 8.20 we were on our way to pick up Linds when guess who I saw in the car next to us at the lights?

Guess. Go on, you wont get it...

Only the master of lies and deception - yes it was Paul.

I was just jabbering on to Kay when I saw him over my shoulder in the car to our right. He was putting his seat belt on.Before I recognised him I went to smile cos he looked familiar (you know, like you do) but I turned away, I think, before he saw me. I had my glasses on and I doubt he would have recognised me.

So like psycho weirdo stalkers we stopped indicating left and switched to right and followed right behind them up Park Lane then right at the round-a-bout. I tried to get a look at the driver, she had a big nose, older than me and looked quite short. It was a blue P reg ford escort freedom.(I have the reg, so if anyone thinks they can find the owner....) It sounds like the girl with the kids he was seeing while I was with him. The one that his wife smacked in the face.I knew he would be with her.

I havent set eyes on him since we said goodbye outside Euston Station after we got back from Canada in August. We followed to the roundabout by Kings then I said we should leave it so we went right after they went left. I was a tad paranoid. God knows why. I always wondered how I would feel seeing him again and I am pleased to admit I had anger then intreague and then actually realised I didn't care. So I texted him just so he knew I knew where he was, I asked him why he didnt wave! Ha, that should do his head in. Needless to say he hasnt replied.

So I feel quite good. I have never laughed so much coming out of a film. I had no idea it was so utterley bad. How did I not know this? I couldnt sit through that again...not for any money. My eyes,nose and ears would be bleeding. I cant even write about how bad it became. I first knew it was going to be bad when I saw Eddie Murphy in it with all his sexual chocolateness. And how bad must that fart that Jamie Foxx kept sniffing at the end of the movie?

Or maybe it was just the film.

It stank.