AFTER MUCH STUDY TONIGHT.....

I am now able to rate my fish in order of hardness.

The cock of the fish tank is Ian Beale the eel.

2nd toughest is the newly added angel fish that is white,yellow and black. I haven't named it yet which is rubbish on my behalf. He looks like a Jasper.

3rd hardest fish is the silver shark who is quite massive therefore I am surprised he is only 3rd. I'm lame at naming fish cos I just call him "the silver shark"

then its the 2 guramis(?) which are boring

and all level at the bottom the girls of the tank are Humbug the cat fish and the red nose tetras. All are weak and bobbins.

Work was amazingly quiet tonight. One can only assume that all the restaurants in town were full of couples enjoying comfortable silences. No, I'm not bitter - Valentines day couples always look to me like they don't talk much. Me, I neither sent or received any which I'm cool with - that means I am karmic ally balanced then, which can only be a good thing.

The new landlord or whatever of the Bate Hall was in, trying really hard to poach my Blind Tony. How rude. He gave him his business card (which was not in braille funnily enough) and kept telling him to come in for a pint and he would look after him. Much to Crowther's amusement I took this personally as if he was implying he was not looked after here. Anyway, he was a bit leathered so I will let it slip this time.

Congratulations to the Winehouse. I knew she would win it.

Have asked around- no one knows Christian Hill. But I am now inspired to write my own screenplay for a hollywood blockbuster. It will be about a girl who comes across a random blog and follows it for time. The blogs author will be telling loads of lies that the girl believes and becomes obsessed with and will end out doing the murders that the author pretends to do. Then they will accidentally meet somwehere and not know of thier connection, someother stuff will happen and then I will think of a fantastic ending. Very much a work in progress but I want Willem DaFoe and Keira Knightley to star. Cameo by R Kelly and erm, Russel Brand can play the child catcher, oh no, hang on...thats Chitty -chitty-bang-bang