Ah, www.maccexpress-express.co.uk where would us over seas folk be without you? Im particularly loving the srticle about Nick Winterton this week. I love the "its one rule for them another for us" quotes. There are lots in this weeks paper from the coffee drinkers of Macclesfield. A good time to remember some classic Viz if ever I heard one....
Dame Helen Mirren has won all these Baftas, Golden Globes and Oscars for playing the Queen, and she's only done it once. Meanwhile, Queen lookalike Jeanette Charles has been doing it for years, and she hasn't got so much as a pat on the back. Once again, it's one rule for Dames, and another rule for bank manager's wives who bear a passing resemblance to the reigning monarch.
-Ann Barton, Grimsby
Everywhere I go I see signs saying 'Post no bills', yet every day in the post I receive bills from the the gas board, electricity board and telephone company. It's just another example of one rule for multinational utilities and another for the rest of us.
-Edna P Gallows, Edgeware
How come St. George got beatified for killing the rarest creature ever with a massive sword, while I get absolutely fucked by the RSPCA for slaying common frogs with a penknife? As usual, it's one law for knights in armour and another for the rest of us.
-John Taters, Gloucester
HOW come rap artist Dr. Dre can use the 'N' word on his multi-million selling albums and win a MOBO award, yet when I used it at my son's football match I was asked to leave the park? Once again, it's one law for the rich and another for the poor.
-Alan Hedgejumper, Glasgow
A Channel 4 film crew were recently arrested and held in custody for squirting a water pistol into Tom Cruise's face. However, I saw the Chuckle Brothers' 'Pirates of the Rother Valley' show at the Tyne Theatre last week, and I was squirted several times with a Supa Soaker, as was the rest of the audience. When I dialled 999, the police simply didn't want to know. Once again, it's one of those letters that end with 'it's one rule for one and one rule for another'.
-Chester Bluestar,Newcastle
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1 comment:
I want to find John Taters and marry him for being a hilarious bastard. Might have to re train on the old frog killing ways however.
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