I am beginning (along with many other people) to see blogs as not a good thing. Im using it as therapy today because I dont know how else to adjust to something I now know.
In September I started to take a fancy to a man that comes in the pub I run. Within a few weeks and some matchmaking done he rang me up, we met up and went on a few dates.
The second time I met him he told me had children but he didn't live with them, had been having lots of shit with his ex but everyone has a past and I thought he seemed fine.
In October I took a break from work, took my dogs to Wildboarclough in a cottage for 2 weeks. He came over to stay, we were getting on fine although didnt stay longer cos he was working all over the place. (He has his own buisness and has to go where the work is). I work quite alot too, Im busy all weekends, working anti-social hours but I didnt mind taking things slow because I wasnt in a hurry.
Over the next few months I saw him when I could. In January he gave up his flat in Macclesfield and moved back down south as he was working there for the forseeable. He came up for my birthday, I saw him more over January,(cos 2006 was going to be our year apparently) by February he was telling me he loved me, I went to down to see him where he was working. It wasnt ideal but I thought he was perfect for me. This carried on until May.
In May he began making more of an effort, came up for the weekend when he could, we spoke on the phone all the time. Took me out for a chinese and started to talk strange, saying if I hear someone saying things about him then not to believe it. He had an ex girlfriend who was a psycho and had gone down to London to his ex wifes house and started kicking off. I asked when they had split up and he said it was ages ago, she was just nuts apparently.(the ex girlfriend, not his ex wife).
He was living with his sister in London. I went down there and met her (cos I wasnt totally convinced, something wasnt right, but seeing it was how he said it was I felt reassured). I told him I was going to Canada in August with my Mum. Asked if he fancied coming to and he was well up for it. He sent me his money and I bought the tickets, it was all booked.
On holiday things were great. We had the best time, my family loved him and he loved them. All was amazing. He had always talked of how he wanted us to have children, took it as read we were getting married. Said how excited he was about our future, he was ging to make more of an effort to spend more time here, expected his work would shift up here for at least a year so he'd live here.
As you all know, I was dumped 2 days after we got back by text message. I was gutted. He gave no explanation and wouldn't answer my calls.
A week after I wrote the most amazing letter I have ever written. I sent it to him with my copy of the holiday photos off my camera, I told him he could email me the ones off his camera and gave him my email address. Now he doesn't really do computers but his nephew that he lives with does so I figured he'd help him. I was getting my head around the break up, if the letter didnt make him see differently then obviously he wasnt the man for me.
I heard nothing from him. Fair enough I thought, I still didnt get how someone could change their mind so drastically though.
Thursday night I get an email. Its from 'his wife'. Telling me how They had 2 kids and had been married for 23 years. Now I knew he had 2 kids, he told me all about them and had shown me pictures. He had told me that he got married at 19 (which was indeed 23 years ago) So I wasnt shocked. I didnt really believe it. After all, I had met his sister, I had been to where he lives. He had been away with me for 2 weeks, obviously she was a nutter. I rang him asking if he knew anything about it. He said no, but he hadn't got the photos I sent him nor the letter. Assumed that for some reason his daughter had taken it and it was her emailing me. I said I wasnt going to respond- I didnt want to get involved.
However I got curious. We are both on aol and I saw she was online so I messaged her.
Seems they only split up in May. After the girl he was seeing up here turned up on their doorstep in London,she threw him out. He had started seeing her the April before I met him and was seeing her while he was seeing me whilst also seeing his wife. I will put £1,000,000 that there are more of us he had on the go. He told his wife he was going to Ireland for 2 weeks to stay with relatives. She didnt know about me until she got the envelope I sent him with pictures of us in Canada with a long letter of me telling how much I loved him.
His wife was lovely. I appologised. He told me they had split up about 10 years ago. She said she has no bad feelings towards me - just him and his lies. I dont want to post this because I dont want his kids to find out how much of a shit their father is but I have to get it out of me somehow. So, I will delete it soon. But if anybody out there ever happens to come across a lovely, honest,caring genuine man who is too good to be true BE VERY CAUTIOUS.
Unfortunatley he is not what he seems.
6 comments:
what a wanker.
THEY SAY THAT YOUR GUT INSTINCT IS USUALLY RIGHT, AND I THINK YOU KNEW SOMETHING WAS WRONG WITH HIM.
TRUST IS GOOD BUT OFTEN WASTED
Awwwww Cat. Glad you got to vent it out, in the written word at least. I know you hate hugs and gushy sentiments but *Hugs* and "you are ace you, worth so much more" xxxxxxxx
Whatever inspires a man to be so bloody wretched, poor you, but at least you know now and you can try to put it behind you. Nina xx
Fuck me sideways. I have just read that open-mouthed. What a cunt. I'm so, so sorry.
Grade A TWAT
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