Today is a perticularly shite effort. I love it how in the new year the coroner does his reports so, all in one edition you read of how 4 people have hung themselves. This was throughout last year but having them all in one paper at the same time kind of makes you not want to get out of bed.
But, do not fear....For on the front page and page 3 is the what must be the most newsworthy story of the year...
Jenna Hall, a Fallibroome Sixth Former of Scholars Close has a pink car.
Yes, I kid you not. Its facinating....
Jenna, who studdies blah blah blah said "I used to wear everything in pink all the time but now I only wear pink jumpers"
It goes on..."two of her bedroom walls are painted a brilliant pink, another one is a lighter shade with the remaining wall a surprising WHITE"
For fuck sake Macc Express...How is this news? I dont know this pink loving Jenna Hall, a Fallibroome Sixth Former of Scholars Close and I wish her no harm but does anyone really give a flying fuck if she likes the colour pink?
A few years ago some cunt shot my front windows 7, thats SEVEN times.With a gun. A GUN.Did that make the paper? Did it buggers like. I tell you what, that was fucking news. I give up. I have been somewhat of a media whore myself over the past years, but I can only assume that Jenna Hall, a Fallibroome Sixth Former of Scholars Close has a parent who works for the god damn paper. Bring back Carla.
"a surprising WHITE" ....indeed
2 comments:
I am pining for my natural pink habitat. Instead that bitch Kay makes me live in a house that has just been painted "natural calico" except she bought the wrong paint - silk instead of matt which makes the walls look like they are slimy in a certain light. So the boy has to repaint.
Do you think this will make the Macc Express?
Katie x
I wonder how many little scally bastards will key her nice pink car now its been in teh Cack Express?
Calico? CALICO? are you sure its not 'walnuts in the breeze' or 'milky mocha deluxe' or 'essence of pistachio' Give us a break its off white. With mould. Bloody designers.
:-)
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