WHEN I HAVE MORE RANDOM PICTURES

More randoms....

After much deliberation I have decided that this is my favourite grain elevator. It was the yellow and red one but I prefer the shape of this one
Then, whilst out walking Jeremy decided to chase some guy and his kid on a skidoo (?)
which did look like fun
I cant do the outsid ehere any justice without a wide angled lense, looks a bit like the moon dont you think?

WHEN THE BEAGLE HAS LANDED

You can just make him out in the distance

Here is the little fella coming down the runway.....

We even found a plane

WHEN I ONLY HAVE PORT

See, I got my strongbow.

Had a few in the bar on Friday, they were playing Deal or No Deal and Nikki won the $1000.

Stongbow is back in stock again, so all is well.

Today however I am wanting a cheeky vimto, only I can not find Blue WKD anywhere. It is a year today since we all got ridiculously twatted on Cheeky V's and rang up all the R.Kelly's in the South Manchester phone book at 11.30 at night. I was going to toast the occasion. Oh well, neat Port will have to do.

900+ tv channels and my brother is choosing to watch Beverley Callard and Simon Gregson sing "Sweet Child Of Mine" ????
I ask you!

(Oh, hang on...he's turned it over now thank god)

WHEN I'M MORE PEPA THAN SALT

Is it just me or has anyone else been watching the Salt n Pepa show on MTV?

I proper loved Salt 'n Pepa back in the day. I had A Salt With A Deadly Pepa on CD, until my brother lent it to Keith O'Brien at school. Not the whole thing....no, just the CD leaving the case at home which is worse.
This pissed me off for two reasons,
1. It meant I thought I still had it until I went to play it one day
2. I knew there was fat chance of me ever getting it back.

(He also did this with my Pixies Surfer Rosa and various others.)
I did get my revenge though, I bought him his favourite movie on DVD (The Jerk) then gave it to someone to "borrow", needless to say he never saw it again and had to buy a pirate off Smithy.

Anyway, back to Salt 'n'Pepa.

I remember taping all their videos off the Chart Show on Saturday mornings on my video mix tape (how much fun was it doing that? Especially when it was the Indie Chart. These kids today have it too easy with itunes I tells ya!) and learning the dance moves in my front room.

Well now Salt is a god botherer and Pepa is still a good time lovin gal wanting to perform again. Only miserable old Salt isn't keen, wont sing Push It or Lets Talk About Sex because they are too rude and are not about "where she is right now". Now I know Salt did most of the singing but I wouldn't mess with Pepa, fcuk - she looks like one hard be-atch.

So, if there was a gay Facebook application where you had to do a crappy quiz about crap and it was called "Are you Salt or Pepa" I for one would be Pepa. God damn Salt ruining all the fun.Spinderella kick it up one time.

In other none MTV/80's girl band news....

Jeremy is on a mission to yellow all the snow. Never has a dog pissed so much, well he does still have his wedding tackle although they shrink right up and disappear when hes out. (-15oC temperature fact fans). We live just behind the 'airport' so he gets walked mostly along the 'runway'. Check it soon on Google Earth if they update it with winter pictures, it will be the long yellow road of pissy snow.Might even look like a mini Great Wall of China.

I'm using the *does quote signs with her fingers* because I don't think its in operation. Well, I haven't seen any planes land on it and the blue shed at there has a For Sale Sign on it. Airport anyone?

WHEN I HAVE TO AMMEND SOMETHING I WROTE EARLIER

To clarify.....

Everyone here does lock their door.
People don't leave their cars running with the keys in.

I'd hate for here to be a crime hot spot because of anything i MAY HAVE WRITTEN BEFORE.

(god damn that Caps lock again)

It should have read....

I have never lived in a town where everyone was so security conscience as this.
Everybody here has burglar alarms, hungry dogs and guns.

GLAD i (DAMN) cleared that one up.

WHEN GOALS ARE SET.

Following last nights drunken ramblings I am already working on my News Years Resolutions. I have never really done them before but as I have a new life now I'm going to.

oNE WILL BE TO STOP GOING ON ABOUT SHIT AND WRITE SOME HALF INTERESTING/AMUSING POSTS LIKE i USED TO.

The other will to be to look at the screen when I'm typing, then I might notice when the caps lock is on.

WHEN IM DRUNK BUT TALK-A-TIVE (and go on a lot about nothing)

Ok, Merry Christmas. Its 00:21 so the time is *counts on her fingers* 06:22 UK time. Merry Christmas you all. xxx

I am a little bit more up beat today than I was before. Yes, I miss home and all my friends. Being single and 33 (in 10 days time), unemployed, without a driving licence in a small town and living with your parents can do something to a girls self esteem. Its awful. I've been better.

The job I left back in June was my life, I made that pub. I'm now lacking an identity because as much I I resented it it was me. All my own work.

Now, I'm living in a town (which is lovely and full of brilliant people by the way, best you'll ever meet) with nothing to do, wondering if I did the right thing. It doesn't feel like it at the minute but I'm sure it is, I knew it would be hard.

Fancy some stats?
I couldn't sleep last night so I looked them up...

You can fit England in to Saskatchewan 5 times.
Saskatchewan has about 1 million people living in it.
England has 50 million people living in it.
The town where I live has about 400 in it.
So the ratio of people in Macc to here is 375/1
I cannot think of anywhere near Macc as small as that.
The nearest big town (its a city FYI) is 40mins down the road, its got less people in it than Biddulph (without having the joys of of Congers and S-O-T.) But it has loads of stuff - even an airport!

But, its brilliant. there are no bad people. No one locks their doors at night ,you can go to the shops and leave your car running with the keys in. Everybody looks out for everybody and they are all really happy. Quite unlike Macc.

I'm just waiting till it feels like home.

But I miss lots about Macc......
(In no particular order)

I miss Claire, Claire, Crowther, Kay and Lindsey
I miss the POW and all the customers
I miss winding up MKB and Blind Tony.
I miss poppadoms (they are unheard of around here)
I miss Diet Kick
I miss Sailor Jerry
I miss Yang Sing
I miss Primark

I wish I had done more stuff....
I wish I enjoyed every minute and taken more photos.
I wish I had brought more of my stuff with me
I wish I didn't moan about lots and slag off most of everything.
I wish I had broke into the subway under the train station like I said I would.
I wish I met Mr Taylor 2 years ago, cos I still think he's proper 'bo.
I wish I got Marisa the Kenny baby off t'net like I planned to for Christmas.
I wish I went out on my last day in Macc instead of sitting in getting upset about how I would miss everything and everyone.
I wish I have been more interested in everyone insted of taking them for granted.
I miss pretendin to fit carpets, Marlow is really good at what he does, I should have tried harder and learnt more. Then I might actually have a skill that I could use.

I could go on but apparently regrets, you should not have a few...."but then again, too few to mention...."

Shit, I'm singing when I'm typing, that can only be bad and a sign of needing to go to bed.

This year I have bought o (that's zero) presents.
I'm expecting 0 (again, zero)back.
Come new year (and my birthday just after incidentally) I am going finally try and sort out the iphone Kay and Linds got for me and order myself a whole lot of stuff from Lush.
I have totally not done Christmas this year and apart from the snow it doesn't feel like it and I like it that way. Well, for this year at least.

Christmas Day this year will be the first Christmas Day I haven't worked for 17 years. It might mean more if I wasn't unemployed. What a shame....after all this time its wasted on me.

But I shall not wallow in my self pity any more.

I am sure it will get better for me.

I really don't think anyone reads this anymore but Merry Christmas to you any way......

WHEN I HATE TO...........

But yes, I admit it, I want to go home. I know I talked my family into moving here and I brought my dog and everything but I think I want to go home. I think Im missing out on stuff and Im fed up of doing nothing. No, I do....I really want to go home.

WHEN BEAGLES WEAR SNOW SOCKS

Did I mention the dog socks I got from Dollarama (Thats a half price 50p poundland to you and me?) Well, what with it being bloody freezing out here and with Jezza being a bit nesh like me I got him some. I just took him out across the back but I didn't make it that far at all. Much colder than of late. I got back home and checked, its only -15. Felt colder than that.

WHERE THE PEGGY BABCOCK DID THE AUDIO GO?

I don't remember where we had been this Sunday to get in this state. Its a bit blurry, I was mistakingly thinking everything that I did was hilarious. It was sometime this summer...was is after the crcket match in Kerridge? I think it might have been. Any hoo, I have just found this gem of Kay reading out all the bands that were playing somewhere in the style of Peggy Peggy Babcock, Babcock Peggy (from Razzamatazz if you remember it?) Only because i have all the technological know-how talents of a Junior Three teacher who fails to get the big TV and video working on the non-uniform-film-watching last day of term, I have failed to have the sound on...which after all was the lost important element.

WHEN ITS NICE TO BE THOUSANDS OF MILES AWAY

It's currently 7.20am which means its 1.20pm in Macc and you know what day it is don't you? Yep, it's Mad Friday*........and I couldn't be happier not being a part of it. It has to be even worse now, what with the smoking population of the POW having to stand out in the yard. I think by this time last year we had already ran out of Corona and I had de-spewed the toilets about twice. I'm glad I no longer have to throw out drunks and wrestle with three times more booze than would ever fit in the cellar. I had 8 nightmare runs at it. None of them were fun.

Saying that, I'm still doing bugger all at the moment. It is doing my head in, it is as well, I have had a headache for 2 days now....and I don't usually suffer from them. Hopefully next year I will be somewhere between the two, between working like a twat and lazing about like a bum.

I'm still hanging out for some deep snow,its been white here for a few weeks but I'm wanting the 10 feet deep stuff. I believe it is the first day of winter tomorrow, as long as its not -30 again.

It's Deal Or No Deal in the bar tonight so I'll be heading out as the rest of Macclesfield are throwing up and fighting all over town

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

*Mad Friday- a vile spew filled phenomenon. The apocalyptic like day when the whole of Macc and Bollington (usually made up of the ones who cannot handle their drink) finish work earky and go out around town on a massive bender to see who they can be sick on or fight with. Usually every pub holds 15 times its capacity of customers who travel around in groups which usually have at least one under 16 with them that looks pasty and likely to pass out at any minute.
Because the pubs are full of non-regulars, there are at least two people in there at any one given time that you know hate each other and will do battle so you spend your time subtly moving in between people like you were doing the 'fox,hen,grain across the river' exercise from school.
People who cant walk let alonestand up with out falling on someone bring in and attempt to eat chips,subways and pizza from take-a-way's but instead spill it all over the floor.
At least 80 glasses will accidentally be broken.You will never find a seat, the toilets stink of piss, there are empty small licked out plastic bags all over thefloor and the pavements are slippy due to the incredible amount of chunder that covers the town.


Enjoy it Macclesfield, I'll be thinking of you!

WHEN MY SANITY HAS BEEN SAVED

Now don't get me wrong, you know how I am a massive fan of the shittingly awful Trapped in the Closet. Well, with no tv working in the house at the minute and with only Chapters 1-22 of Trapped in my possession I was about to go mad. Surely nobody has watched it as much as I, and even I cant watch it all the time.

Thankfully my Uncle just bobbed around with some films to watch.

So I may not be fully mental tomorrow.

WHEN.....OW, IT HURTS TO TYPE

Maybe the bar in town selling cider is a bad thing after all. I got trollied last night.
God, I am proper rough today.

I took Jeremy for a wander through town today and ended up on the swings. He does not understand swings, then again... I must not either. I went on one, lent right back on it, he walked in to my head then my hair got covered in snow.

I climbed up the ariel tower outside to see if I could make it work. I couldn't, but I didn't fall from it so thats a good thing I suppose.

There is fat chance of me going anywhere today, my head gives me grief if I move

I've felt better.

Its rubbish not having a tv, I've read out all the football and racing results to my Dad and Lindsay now I'm bored.

Me and Lindsay are trying to figure out how we can change Dads name on the phone so it comes up saying "Cat Bum Sniffer" on tha caller id, but as yet we haven't figured out how to do it.

WHEN THERE ARE MORE HERE

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=22658&l=665b6&id=573650247

WHEN I ONLY HAD TIME TO DO THREE. THEY ARE THE FINDINGS FROM MY WALK I PROMISED WEEKS AGO

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=22657&l=5899f&id=573650247

Bollocks to it, its taking too long. I'll see if I can stick em on facebook

WHEN WIRELESS IN NICKED

I'm having to import pictures one at a time....God damn having to sit on the settee in the corner of the house cribbing off the neighbours poor wireless signal (with anyluck ours will be connected on Wednesday next week!)

I've 'lost' 9 photos already. Its taking an age too.

WHEN BLOGGER LETS ME POST PICTURES. FINALLY

Ok, picture time. This seems so long ago now as we've have snow for over 2 weeks.

This is my Uncles farm where I was staying.

WHEN SHES ELECTRIC

I keep getting static electric shocks off everything, especially the dog.

What is all that about?

WHEN IT STILL HURTS

My leg is still griving me grief after the fall (that I dont remember) on Saturday night. Bugger. I think I twised my knee and sprained my ankle, its all swollen and angry looking.

Luckily as I have nowt to do it means I can just rest it. But I really want to get some sort of excercise, its weird doing nothing all day. On Monday I wrapped meat for my Uncle again in the abattoir for a few hours. We had a power cut which delayed it all by a bit. I think I am there again tomorrow, I'll try and remember to take my camera, its like nothing you have ever seen! Its here on the farm. Farmers bring along their beef, he kils them, takes off all the skin and hangs them up for 10 days or so then cuts them up into various roasts, steaks,ribs and all that - which I then wrap and label, then they pick up their meat and take it home to their freezer or whatever. Can you imagine having all that food at home? Tonnes of T-bones, sirloins and other stuff? Totally different way to shop!

Needless to say, I am still vegetarian.

My driving progress is very slow as my father isn't that keen on thaking me out so I'll just have to wait and organise it myself. But I will get it done, it won't hold me back.

It snowed again yesterday but not much, I'm wanting feet and feet of the stuff.

I sent out my christmas cards yesterday which upset Mary in the post office cos apparentley my cards were too small. But I wasn't going to re-write them all so I pleeded and she said she would let me off, just this once. Bloody hell.

So there you go, thats it. My leg hurts, I sit in all day and the post office mistress doesn't like me.

I hope it gets better than this.

WHEN LIMPS COME FROM NOWHERE

I must have fallen over last night cos my right leg is killing me. Im limping and everything.

I went to Swift Current yesterday, went to an auction 1st then Canadian Tire. Then, I went to Wal*Mart.

OMG, it is everything I thought it would be, but better. Imagine ifthe whole of Macc town center was a store that was well sign posted and cheap. It was that massive and cheap too. I could live in there, no problem. Then, just when you thought it could get no better we went to Dollarama. Check this out....its like the poundshop but better (1. because they have more and better stuff. 2. because $1 is 50p so it's like a 50p-a-rama really.)

Anyway, word is slow from home but I cant stop mthinking about Lennys Dad. Last time I saw John was a while ago in August, I walked Jeremy to the pub in the morning and him and Len were there about 1 laughing cos they just walked out of work. That was the day I gave him my Punk book (which I later found out Kay wanted) We sat and got smashed together then I ended up at Claires house eating curry. I dont know what happened to him and I hate being this far away when bad stuff happens. John was a right laugh. Iliked him alot.

I went to the hockey match last night but saw nothing from the bar. Ended up in the hotel and its all a blur. Maybe when my shithead brother wakes up he will tell me if I fell over or not. I must have, it hurts like hell.

Only -19 outside!, its 8.52 am.

WHEN LEARNING TO DRIVE WHILST UNDER THE INFLUENCE

To say I ended up in the ditch is a slight exageration. I just ended up a little off the road, down a bit of a hill between a field and the road.

In my defence it was hard to see where the road was under all that snow, it was late and dark out and I was hammered. Still it was a lesson that was worth learning, wont be trying that again!

I got Jeremy a new collar and lead today cos he was looking a bit gay with his 4 row studded diamonte red leather collar.

Its quite warm out today, -10.

Balmy.

WHEN SHE HAS WHEELS

Weather wise weather fans we are experiencing a tropical spell if you will. It is -8 and rumoured to get to...are you ready for it...0 oC at 9pm tonight. I cannot wait, I'm getting my shorts and T-shirt out for the occasion. Word is we are in the "Banana Belt" which means that although it gets proper bloody freeeeezing cold out a warm wind, a chinook or something comes along and then like that its warmer.Oh, butthen it goes cold again just as fact.

Ok, I'm nearly done with talking about the cold now.

Today I had my first attempt at driving. (FYI if you didn't know I have never driven.)
I didn't crash or go off the road so there is hope for me yet. Plus, I think I will find driving over here easier as all the roads are proper straight, there are no other cars and all the cars are automatic. Surely I cant go wrong. We have a white Buick (if thats how its spelt?) so Im all Camoflage driving around here in all the snow. Me and my Dad didn't shout at each other once so its all good.

Don't know where Lindsay has gone, think he's out rounding up cattle or something. I bought him some fruit roll ups from the shop but I fear they will all be eaten if he doesn't get here soon.I've had 3 already. Sorry Skidface.

I would do anything for a pint of cider right now, I have so far been unable to find any WHICH IS NOT GOOD. I think we are going to the city (well, Im not sure if it is a city, its 5 times smaller than Macc but 500 times bigger than here so I'm calling it a city) I am not leaving there until I find some, then I shall ask Wendy at the bar to get some in then normal service can resume.

Bring
It
On.

If not I will soon be saving up to go for early doors in POW on Fridays.
All contributions welcome.................

WHEN YOU REALISE YOU REALLY ARE IN A FOREIGN COUNTRY

There is no pound sign on the keypad.

How rude.

WHEN ITS ALL BLUE SKY

Ok, I know Im lonely and missing home and Im nowhere like being settles here but OMG, this has to be one of the most beautiful places on he earth.

Like understated beauty. I went out driving with my uncle and his hunter mate John today looking for deer. (I know thats a weird thing for a vegetarian to do) but its so pretty here. I was trying to work it out today - the percentage of sky to land..... I would say its 70% sky and 30% land. The sky is MASSIVE. Its so nice being surrounded by blue sky all the time. Plus at night, like now, the stars are about 1000 times bigger and brighter than at home. The sun and the moon are both a millions time bigger than England. Its lovely.
Like today, with the sky being so blue and snow being on the ground all over it looked lilac on the hills (if that makes sense) and than you get these fields still of golden yellow. Its so pretty.

They shot no deer (did I say that already?) but we saw more than 100 altogether, they only shoot the big trophy heads so it was nice being out with hunters that didnt want to shoot everything. I think I understand hunting. I'm glad of that.
[

Anyway, Im waffling and putting [ when I dont want to so Im off.

Please everyone still tell me things about the outside word, Im so out of touch here, I'd hate to miss anything. Plus there is only so much Jerry Springer a girl can watch a day.

Jeremy is out chewing on a frozen deer leg. Its -24. Im off to bed.