WHEN PEOPLE RECAP

The more I think about it the more surprised I am to have finally made it home in one piece.
Me and Marisa left Kay, Yarnold, Chris and Clairey in Thailand and headed back to Hong Kong on Saturday. For the record, I am now officially OFF chinese food. Like totally dude. I cant remember what we did Saturday night, oh yeah, we went for sushi and I drank too much of something in Lychees in it. It was there across from a bar in Lan Kwai Fong that I saw a sign for sleeping pills.

Now, I don't mind flying, but I had done quite a fair bit over the last two weeks so I bought some, they came in a plastic bag of 20.

On the Sunday we walked around some shopping place whilst my vision gradually faded in my left eye (after accidentally getting contact lens solution mixed up with DEET) then we headed back so I could put my glasses on.
With not much else to do we went for a spot of reflexology at the Joy Foot Club next door. I pointed out my right big toe which had turned a worrying purple colour after I banged it doing my Tina Turner impression in Chewang two nights before. She was gentle on that toe but squeezed, rubbed and poked the life out of my calves. The we had time to go up to the peak, look at the view at night and had some food. Marisa left to go back to Sydney that evening.

It was from here on in that things went wrong. Now I always thought I was quite streetwise and savvy so spending the day negotiating trains, boats and buses by my self in HK would be ok. Well, after getting up and going out to find an ATM (cos I have a stupid card that the hotel said they couldn't take) I managed to get lost. No one understood me when I asked where "Tims Square" was. Found it, had no cash cos I had somehow apparently spent it all. Missed check out and got charged an extra $100. After a long time of me trying to explain that I had no money and therefore couldn't pay for the 2 nights and room service I owed to the good people at the Cosmopolitan Hotel they eventually decided to take my bank card.

By this time I was stressed so decided to f**k off my trip to the Big Buddha and decided not to risk being stuck penniless in Hong Kong so went to the airport, 8 hours early.

I was too early to check in and already bored after 10 minutes so I bought Take A Break and Heat magazine. In Take A Break (the Jeremy kyle of magazines) there was a letter from some Lance Corporal in Basra asking for pen pals for 'our boys overseas'....it seemed to be a good way to spend 7 hours so I bought a Hello Kitty pad and pen proceeded to write the worlds most boring and longest letter to someone I don't know about Pot Noodles and bitter. Some poor guy will be fast asleep in Basra with 20 pages of Hello Kitty paper in front of him right now as I type!

Anyway, where was I? Oh yes....My plane wasn't on the board when its time came up so I asked at 3 wrong desks until I found out it had been delayed until 3.05am (so it was 3 hours 45 minutes late...and I had already been there for 8 hours.) I got a credit note from Swiss Air to apologise for the delay for $75 HKD, sounds a lot but its only in fact about a fiver.

So I drank that in Tsing Tao lager then fell asleep, got on the plane for 3am. Now, I haven't had sleeping pills before, this was my first time. I took my contact lenses out (which the rude man next to me who spoke no english, infact he didnt even grunt any form of excuse me as he pushed past me knocking one of my lenses flying), settled down for the night and took one. Some time later I woke up, turned n the screen to see where I was and I was only 2 hours into the flight so I had two more. This happened every two hours. I remember mining sleeping pills to the man next to me and offered him 2.

Next think I know I am stood in Zurich airport thinking "I need a ticket to Manchester". I was so disorientated. All the signs said 10am so I panicked thinking I had missed my flight. Walked into (literally) a help desk to ask where to go. Noticed I had already infact checked in and got my ticket, god only knows how that happened. Was told to go to desk A35. All the signs then said A35, I asked the lady which of the 20 signs I saw saying A35 it was and explained that I had had some sleeping pills. She pointed out my route and told me to get a coffee. I then walked into a handrail and next thing I'm in Manchester Airport waiting for my bag. After realising that all the other people waiting for their luggage were all red and pink I left the belt where bags were being dropped off from Spain and found my right baggage place.

Went to get a taxi, asked them If I looked stupid when they told me it was £33 for a taxi home which is only 12 miles away. Rang my Dad and told him I was going to walk home then after 10 minutes I relented and got the £33 taxi and cried all the way home cos it was so dear.

I went to bed and woke up on Wednesday sometime.

17 sleeping tablets I had had in total. I don't remember a bloody thing but what I do freaks me out cos none of it felt real. Still, I managed to make it here via another country in one piece so maybe I'm quite streetwise and savvy after all.