At the rate things are moving around here I will be very surprised if we ever leave here at all.
It's all too slow. Nothing is getting done. 25 dyas and counting? Are you freaking kidding me?
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Monday, October 29, 2007
WHEN PEN DOESN'T COME OFF
I must have had Tequilla at that party on Saturday night cos I was throwing up all day and night yesterday. I spent all of yesterday in bed (inc the extra hour.What a waste)I'm not feeling my best yet. I still have the remains of marker pen tatoos all over my arms (I went as Amy Winehouse). They are not coming off. I have scrubbed and used baby oil.I dont want naked ladies and Tin-Tins rocket on my arms forever (as well as horse shoes,cards,anchors,cocks,Home Simpson,noughts and crosses game,swallow,hearts and self harming marks to mention a few). I'm glad I havent any real tatoos now, they did not help my hangover. Although it made my spew-a-thon all the more Winehouse authentic.
Friday, October 26, 2007
WHEN FRIDAY NIGHTS SUCK
Ergh.
I have just eaten about 300g of cheese.
My dog Jeremy is having 'sex' with something that the cat sleeps in.
Friday nights aren't supposed to be like this surely?
Please tell me it gets better.
I have just eaten about 300g of cheese.
My dog Jeremy is having 'sex' with something that the cat sleeps in.
Friday nights aren't supposed to be like this surely?
Please tell me it gets better.
Thursday, October 25, 2007
WHEN MORNINGS START OFF MENTAL
CRAZY.
There is this lady that lives in Macc, I wont mention her name but she is loony. L.O.O.N.Y.
If you are from the town (esp Weston area, or you work in any job which involves receiving complaints) then you will probably know her. I have had the joy of knowing her since I worked in the Flower Pot.
First job today was at her house. Now she likes me so I thought it would be ok. She opened the door and was all pleasant, made us brews and gave us Jaffa Cakes. All was well. Then she went in to her bedroom, must have downed a load of Vodka and came out shouting and making up stuff. She rang the shop and said we were trying to make her pay more money (FYI, Brian was trying to tell her she could get a discount as she didn't need the grippers and underlay). Barking. She started going on about how we shouldn't try to "pull the wool over her eyes" cos she is a builders daughter. Screaming mental. She was absolutley pished.We were there for hours. I rang my Mom to tell her cos I knew she would find it funny as she has been on the receiving end of some of her phone call complaints at work. In the 2.5 hours we were there she was on the phone constantly (Apart from when she wasn't shouting at us) ringing up people and complaining. REALLY COMPLAINING. What about, well, about anything and everything. Some nursing home in Bournemouth really got it. I calmed her down and she paid, said everything was fine and she was happy then as soon as we left got on the phone to the shop saying how all 3 of us just sat outside smoking.(Strange as I haven't smoked for 5 years and 7 months.NutBag) She winged that much that Luigi from the shop came out to hoover her carpet. I did explain that we/they are carpet fitters and not cleaners.
She is barred from the Town Hall you know?! She's not allowed in and they have fitted locks on the doors to keep her out. She also isn't allowed in any Doctors in Macc. Thats how much of a nightmare she is.I used to have to ring taxis for her and alot of them wouldn't take her cos shes so freaking bonkers.
There is this lady that lives in Macc, I wont mention her name but she is loony. L.O.O.N.Y.
If you are from the town (esp Weston area, or you work in any job which involves receiving complaints) then you will probably know her. I have had the joy of knowing her since I worked in the Flower Pot.
First job today was at her house. Now she likes me so I thought it would be ok. She opened the door and was all pleasant, made us brews and gave us Jaffa Cakes. All was well. Then she went in to her bedroom, must have downed a load of Vodka and came out shouting and making up stuff. She rang the shop and said we were trying to make her pay more money (FYI, Brian was trying to tell her she could get a discount as she didn't need the grippers and underlay). Barking. She started going on about how we shouldn't try to "pull the wool over her eyes" cos she is a builders daughter. Screaming mental. She was absolutley pished.We were there for hours. I rang my Mom to tell her cos I knew she would find it funny as she has been on the receiving end of some of her phone call complaints at work. In the 2.5 hours we were there she was on the phone constantly (Apart from when she wasn't shouting at us) ringing up people and complaining. REALLY COMPLAINING. What about, well, about anything and everything. Some nursing home in Bournemouth really got it. I calmed her down and she paid, said everything was fine and she was happy then as soon as we left got on the phone to the shop saying how all 3 of us just sat outside smoking.(Strange as I haven't smoked for 5 years and 7 months.NutBag) She winged that much that Luigi from the shop came out to hoover her carpet. I did explain that we/they are carpet fitters and not cleaners.
She is barred from the Town Hall you know?! She's not allowed in and they have fitted locks on the doors to keep her out. She also isn't allowed in any Doctors in Macc. Thats how much of a nightmare she is.I used to have to ring taxis for her and alot of them wouldn't take her cos shes so freaking bonkers.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
WHEN DATES ARE KNOWN
Blimey, its Tuesday already. Where did the days go?
I eventually felt better on Sunday after my Friday night session. It was hard work just staying up and awake at the Ivy, let me tell you. I couldn't wait to get to bed. On Sunday after a lie in (Till after 9 which is quite late for me) I took Jeremy to Wincle with Claire and we ate at The Lazy Trout. Stopped off at the Ivy, I had to pack it in cos Im running out of time - packing and all that. Watched F1 then had an early one Sunday night.
Last night I just went for one in the Pot but somehow ended up in the Brewers and Pow then around at Claire's for another Trapped In The Closet 1-23 marathon with Pizza.
And, guess what......The house has been sold. Officially. We have to be out by 16th November.Finally we have a date. I am so excited. We've been waiting for ages for this. I kind of feel like celebrating but Im tired so Im just going to have an early one again.
I eventually felt better on Sunday after my Friday night session. It was hard work just staying up and awake at the Ivy, let me tell you. I couldn't wait to get to bed. On Sunday after a lie in (Till after 9 which is quite late for me) I took Jeremy to Wincle with Claire and we ate at The Lazy Trout. Stopped off at the Ivy, I had to pack it in cos Im running out of time - packing and all that. Watched F1 then had an early one Sunday night.
Last night I just went for one in the Pot but somehow ended up in the Brewers and Pow then around at Claire's for another Trapped In The Closet 1-23 marathon with Pizza.
And, guess what......The house has been sold. Officially. We have to be out by 16th November.Finally we have a date. I am so excited. We've been waiting for ages for this. I kind of feel like celebrating but Im tired so Im just going to have an early one again.
Saturday, October 20, 2007
WHEN MOANING POSTS ARE DELETED
I got rid of that last post. God Im a dick at times.
Well, I ended up taking the dog for a walk, had too many in pow, went to toast then for a curry. Got in at 7am, that is so the opposite of what I planned to do. Consequently I am currently rough as. I was allowed home at 12 had a kip and a bath and I cant believe I have to go to work now.
Hopefully a pint will bring me round. I couldnt handle the idea of working if Johnson wasnt working too. Fortunatley she is.
I need to be in bed.
Well, I ended up taking the dog for a walk, had too many in pow, went to toast then for a curry. Got in at 7am, that is so the opposite of what I planned to do. Consequently I am currently rough as. I was allowed home at 12 had a kip and a bath and I cant believe I have to go to work now.
Hopefully a pint will bring me round. I couldnt handle the idea of working if Johnson wasnt working too. Fortunatley she is.
I need to be in bed.
Friday, October 19, 2007
WHEN ENDS ARE LOOSE
I dont really know what to do now. I was supposed to be going to Ian Brown again tonight but its no longer happening. Its Leanne's leaving do at Toast but Im too frightened to go incase I get too smashed, which I will end up doing and I have alot to do tomorrow. I am not being ill tomorrow. Seems crap staying in on a Friday night though. I told Annie I would work with her if I wasnt Browning it tonight but I went into Porters just before and its all a bit messy. It put me off so I dont think I'll do that either.
Think I'll take the dog for a walk and think about it.
Rick was a little late for work this morning. He rang me just as we were all laughing how he had probably been arrested for running his truck on vegetable oil. I asked if he had been pulled and funnily enough he had, he was ringing from a police car. Not for the oil though, some other thing...break light or something. They were out in force the other day (the cops, dvla,customs and excercise) dipping tanks and doing everybody...even the benefit fraud team. Surely they have something better to do like arrest Ant and Dec or something!
Right, best go walk the hound.
I know, I could always make my Mum happy and get rid of the 'men at work' sign that I "borrowed" and have left at the side of the house. So tonight could be the night I do my Gene Simmonds stickers for over the face. Bet now I've thought of that I cannot find any stickey white paper. Nothing ever goes my way sometimes.
Think I'll take the dog for a walk and think about it.
Rick was a little late for work this morning. He rang me just as we were all laughing how he had probably been arrested for running his truck on vegetable oil. I asked if he had been pulled and funnily enough he had, he was ringing from a police car. Not for the oil though, some other thing...break light or something. They were out in force the other day (the cops, dvla,customs and excercise) dipping tanks and doing everybody...even the benefit fraud team. Surely they have something better to do like arrest Ant and Dec or something!
Right, best go walk the hound.
I know, I could always make my Mum happy and get rid of the 'men at work' sign that I "borrowed" and have left at the side of the house. So tonight could be the night I do my Gene Simmonds stickers for over the face. Bet now I've thought of that I cannot find any stickey white paper. Nothing ever goes my way sometimes.
Thursday, October 18, 2007
WHEN THE END IS IN SIGHT
Woo-hoo. Seems we will have a house to go to over the pond in November and the estate agent just rang and anticipates signing contracts next week giving us 2 weeks to pack then we are out of here. Now, I know we have been here before and I said I wasnt going to get excited by it again but I can't help it. Bit gutted that I wont get a Christmas do as I dont think I'll get to see December here .
Im proper excited though. About time my life got a bit more exciting than getting smashed and making a tit of myself.
The Ivy was fine last night, quiet...very quiet but cool. I do like it there - I just dont properley understand the juke box yet. Lisa is so lovely. I'm there tonight aswell, there is pool on so it should be a little busier.
My days are mostly spent talking about running diesel 4x4's on vegetable oil. I'm beginning to smell of chippy's.
Im proper excited though. About time my life got a bit more exciting than getting smashed and making a tit of myself.
The Ivy was fine last night, quiet...very quiet but cool. I do like it there - I just dont properley understand the juke box yet. Lisa is so lovely. I'm there tonight aswell, there is pool on so it should be a little busier.
My days are mostly spent talking about running diesel 4x4's on vegetable oil. I'm beginning to smell of chippy's.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
WHEN THE DAY FINALLY ARRIVES
Its been a long wait but I have just received the BEST THING EVER through the post. My week just gets better and better.
WHEN HE IS JUST A MAN
OMG, last night was immense. Ended up having a few in the Pot with PC,Kip,Dunc and Joe then set of to Derby. We got a little lost but met up with Andy and everybody finally at about 8.30. I do love Ian Brown concerts, they are just FULL of men, and they all love him, its quite strange to watch. My camera broke and I cant be arsed with the one on my phone so unfortunately I have no pictures of me and the man. We went to his dressing room later where I'm sure I ate all of Mr Browns Haribo and we drank them out of Corona. I took the big black and white photo I have of him that I got as a leaving present and he signed it for me.He asked where I got it and I told him it was a leaving present from the pub which we admitted was cool but I told him I was actually hoping for a laptop! Not my finest moment but he laughed so I guess it wasnt that bad Favourite moment for me was when this girl came in and just started shaking and started to stutter. Ian goes "are you alright?" to which she starts mumbling how she is usually a lot cooler than this and was all overcome with emotion to meet him to which he said "Why,I'm just a man." Maybe you had to be there, it was funny, I just cant tell a story.
Andy Rourke was there, I told him he looked like Mike Reid, surprisingly he had been told this before. Usually any of my look-a-likes seem to only look like someone to me.He well looked like Mike Reid, I chose not to ask about his smooth dolphin penis Proper Bo I tells thee.
So, it looks like we are going to see him again on Friday in Birmingham. Claire is up for driving then as well.I'll get some pictures then.
Back to normality this morning. Not quite as rock and roll and a little bit stressful....I got locked in the toilet as the handle broke. Hence I have had Lindsay giving me "Trapped In The Water Closet" texts. Hilarious!
Andy Rourke was there, I told him he looked like Mike Reid, surprisingly he had been told this before. Usually any of my look-a-likes seem to only look like someone to me.He well looked like Mike Reid, I chose not to ask about his smooth dolphin penis Proper Bo I tells thee.
So, it looks like we are going to see him again on Friday in Birmingham. Claire is up for driving then as well.I'll get some pictures then.
Back to normality this morning. Not quite as rock and roll and a little bit stressful....I got locked in the toilet as the handle broke. Hence I have had Lindsay giving me "Trapped In The Water Closet" texts. Hilarious!
Monday, October 15, 2007
WHEN I KEEP GETTING YOUNGER
I dont think there is a word to describe how pissed I was yesterday. I was a disgrace! started in Pow on cider and Jagermeister then to the White Lion where I think I organised to meet up and play crib in the Castle next Sunday. Im a proper old man I tells thee. Went to Jar Bar where we were told he (the barman) would be over in a while to take our order. Quite bizarre so we went to Spoons instead. This is where it gets hazy. Jugs of cheeky vimtos in there then went to the Blueberry. It began to get wrong in the Blueberry as I organised a breakdancing event in the back yard. I think that may explain why I am covered in bruises. Then I think it was the Ivy House, have a vague recollection on being in the Jolly Sailor and yep, you guessed it....Chicago Rock. Where I was busting some more tragic moves. I even surprisingly managed to pull which I still cant figure out cos I was foul. F.O.U.L. But isn't cider great!?
I saw Kenny in the White Lion and, check this out.... I was doing some painting at this old mans house a while ago and I was described to him as being 18 years old. I am loving that, I will be dining off that for weeks! 18, get in!
Well, I'm off to Mr Brown in a bit, proper excited about that.
I saw Kenny in the White Lion and, check this out.... I was doing some painting at this old mans house a while ago and I was described to him as being 18 years old. I am loving that, I will be dining off that for weeks! 18, get in!
Well, I'm off to Mr Brown in a bit, proper excited about that.
Sunday, October 14, 2007
WHEN THERE ARE WORSE PEOPLE THAN PATRICK KEILTY
Do you know who I hate more than Patrick Kielty?
Nicky Bloody Campbell
Nicky Bloody Campbell
- that
- is
- all
WHEN PEOPLE HATE PATRICK KIELTY
I f**king hate Patrick Kielty.
Hate him.
H.A.T.E.
H.I.M
I HATE HIM
HATE HIM
I really dont like him at all.
I like Jeremy Kyle more than Patrick Kielty and I despise the Kyle so imagine how much venom I have for Kielty?V.E.N.O.M.
Have I made myself clear? I will use bullets to make it clearer....
People I hate...
Hate him.
H.A.T.E.
H.I.M
I HATE HIM
HATE HIM
HATE HIM
I really dont like him at all.
I like Jeremy Kyle more than Patrick Kielty and I despise the Kyle so imagine how much venom I have for Kielty?V.E.N.O.M.
Have I made myself clear? I will use bullets to make it clearer....
People I hate...
- Patrick Kielty
- that is all
WHEN LEEDS SAVE THE DAY
I believe the phrase I am looking for is "get in".
Are you ready for my betting genius? I had a fiver on Macc to win (they did) England to win (they did) Leeds to win (they did) and England to win....and you know they did. How good was that? anyway, I turned £5 into £100 so it kind of makes up for losing all that cash last night.
I was 3 pints pissed - guinness pissed - by dinner then I got changed and went to work. Work was, as Mr Marlow would say...STACKED. God, Im glad I dont work there everyday anymore. We proper ran out of glasses and it was just stupidly busy. Although, I have learnt something.....apparently Pete used to be Golden Earing's roadie (yes people, radar love!). Then I went to Preachers. Danced a little then got fluffed off and thought I'd go home. Bumped into Nick outside Sun Wi. Nick is one of the rare people I actually kind of fancy. This is quite sad cos I properley only fancy 2 two people . They both (get this) "dont want anything short and sweet" you know..... cos Im doing one to Canada. Really?! Pile of shite if ever I heard it. So from now on Im not going to tell anyone Im moving abroad. Dont think it will get me anywhere though. I had a hissy fit in Cheshire Fast Food. Well, not so much a hissy fit...they served someone else before me so I threw them the V's and walked out. Such a lady. Best not go there again!
Im still so excited about tomorrow night. Meanwhile, today I am off on the pop about town avec Claire and Anna after Chris cooks for us. Parsnips and everything! The weekend just gets better and better! Im still buzzing after winning my bet, I very rarely win anything. Woo and Yeah as they say.
Are you ready for my betting genius? I had a fiver on Macc to win (they did) England to win (they did) Leeds to win (they did) and England to win....and you know they did. How good was that? anyway, I turned £5 into £100 so it kind of makes up for losing all that cash last night.
I was 3 pints pissed - guinness pissed - by dinner then I got changed and went to work. Work was, as Mr Marlow would say...STACKED. God, Im glad I dont work there everyday anymore. We proper ran out of glasses and it was just stupidly busy. Although, I have learnt something.....apparently Pete used to be Golden Earing's roadie (yes people, radar love!). Then I went to Preachers. Danced a little then got fluffed off and thought I'd go home. Bumped into Nick outside Sun Wi. Nick is one of the rare people I actually kind of fancy. This is quite sad cos I properley only fancy 2 two people . They both (get this) "dont want anything short and sweet" you know..... cos Im doing one to Canada. Really?! Pile of shite if ever I heard it. So from now on Im not going to tell anyone Im moving abroad. Dont think it will get me anywhere though. I had a hissy fit in Cheshire Fast Food. Well, not so much a hissy fit...they served someone else before me so I threw them the V's and walked out. Such a lady. Best not go there again!
Im still so excited about tomorrow night. Meanwhile, today I am off on the pop about town avec Claire and Anna after Chris cooks for us. Parsnips and everything! The weekend just gets better and better! Im still buzzing after winning my bet, I very rarely win anything. Woo and Yeah as they say.
Saturday, October 13, 2007
WHEN CIDER LOSES YOU MONEY
Bah, only went out for afew after work last night.
Of course I ended up smashed. Lost £60 out of my pockets some how which was a pisser as it was all I have. So I cried like a drunken jeremy kyle guest for a bit. I remeber leaving the pow and was walking home. Passing the old white swan (where incidentally I was working earlier that day fact fans) I got talking to some short polish guy. We figured out that we were both iin need of booze but were penniless. Full of cider and bravado I blagged us 2 pints at the Ivy House and I have some recollection of saying I will work there 3 nights a week. Then, like a tramp who has been on the high karate aftershave I walked home whilst trying to hitch up Park Lane. Surprisingly no one picked me up.
Saw PC in pow after work today. (This is when I sound all HolyMoly on your ass....) Seemingly Ian Brown had a massive arguement with Andy Rourke and everybody last night. Its all cool now but it was pretty ugly by all accounts. I didnt know Andy Rouke was playing for Ian Brown. Now Im even more excited, I fluffin loved the Smiths I tells thee.
Well, Im off to work in the ghlorious (looks so good with a 'h' dont it?) pow now. Im on a bar crawl tomorrow then..........drum roll....the mighty Mr Brown on Monday.
i
am
soooooooooo
excited
Of course I ended up smashed. Lost £60 out of my pockets some how which was a pisser as it was all I have. So I cried like a drunken jeremy kyle guest for a bit. I remeber leaving the pow and was walking home. Passing the old white swan (where incidentally I was working earlier that day fact fans) I got talking to some short polish guy. We figured out that we were both iin need of booze but were penniless. Full of cider and bravado I blagged us 2 pints at the Ivy House and I have some recollection of saying I will work there 3 nights a week. Then, like a tramp who has been on the high karate aftershave I walked home whilst trying to hitch up Park Lane. Surprisingly no one picked me up.
Saw PC in pow after work today. (This is when I sound all HolyMoly on your ass....) Seemingly Ian Brown had a massive arguement with Andy Rourke and everybody last night. Its all cool now but it was pretty ugly by all accounts. I didnt know Andy Rouke was playing for Ian Brown. Now Im even more excited, I fluffin loved the Smiths I tells thee.
Well, Im off to work in the ghlorious (looks so good with a 'h' dont it?) pow now. Im on a bar crawl tomorrow then..........drum roll....the mighty Mr Brown on Monday.
i
am
soooooooooo
excited
Friday, October 12, 2007
WHEN I AM ONCE AGAIN AHEAD OF MY TIME
Bugger. I have never I have heard of a better occasion to wear my nuns outfit than this...only its next year and with any luck I wont be here.
The Songs Of Sister Act at the Palace Theatre.
I (sadly) love Sister Act.
Oh Happy Day.....wurrrrrr.
The Songs Of Sister Act at the Palace Theatre.
I (sadly) love Sister Act.
Oh Happy Day.....wurrrrrr.
WHEN DOLPHINS ARE MONKEYS
Woo-Hoo. I had my cider fix at the Flower Pot last night with Miss Heyes and Miss Clinton, who is recovering from a bunion operation (nice scars!). Anyway, I bumped into to PC and I am sorted for backstage at Ian Brown on Monday. Sooooooo excited. Soooo very excited.I love the little monkey man!
Thursday, October 11, 2007
WHEN THERE IS NOTHING TO REPORT
The walk only took me 3 hours, Jeremy got well freaked out by some cows. Strange cos hes cool with horses, if I was a dog they would all look the same to me.
Today was rather uneventful and finished a little later than normal.
I think I need some cider.
Today was rather uneventful and finished a little later than normal.
I think I need some cider.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
WHEN AOL TITS ME OFF FOR THE LAST TIME
Yet again my email is dead. Smell you later AOL, I'm returning to hotmail you tossers.
Half day today, I saw a proper lovely beagle today in Kerridge, just like Jeremy only about 6 kg lighter. So Im taking my slightly over weight self and my slightly over weight dog on a mammoth walk to Gawsworth, left at the croosroads to the Fools Nook then down the canal to the Puss then back through town and home. Well, not exactly mammoth, but quite long.
See, Im not even watching Murder, She Wrote!
(Incidentally, I have seen the episode 8 times - its the radio one, so its not that much of a big deal.)
Laters
Half day today, I saw a proper lovely beagle today in Kerridge, just like Jeremy only about 6 kg lighter. So Im taking my slightly over weight self and my slightly over weight dog on a mammoth walk to Gawsworth, left at the croosroads to the Fools Nook then down the canal to the Puss then back through town and home. Well, not exactly mammoth, but quite long.
See, Im not even watching Murder, She Wrote!
(Incidentally, I have seen the episode 8 times - its the radio one, so its not that much of a big deal.)
Laters
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
WHEN GLUE IS REMOVED
Ow.
I do it all the bloody time and every time I tell myself it will be the last but no.
No I've not gone all Amy Winehouse and been self harming....well, I have kind of...I picked all my bloody false nails off this morning instead of soaking them off like you are supposed to. I'm down to about 2 layers of nail material. Its a vicious circle....my nails are shit so I sometimes stick fake ones on. This then makes my nails even worse so I have to put them on again...blah blah blah. The sun on holiday just about sorted them out only upon returning I got fed up of my man hands and stuck more on.
Well that's it I tell you. No more. I couldn't even get the battery out of my mobile today. (Ricks phone was dead and so as I seldom get calls and have had no credit since Saturday I let him use mine.)
Well, today wasn't outstanding in any way. My nails have hurt and I had a minging cake from Cheshire Gap. They were the lows. The man at the Chinese near the Blueberry gave me a can of coke and some prawn crackers when we were working there today, that was probably my only high! I'm so skint at the minute it is untrue. I am even working at Porters on Saturday night because my finances are that stacked! Holidays ey? Why do we bother?
I had the joy of watching the hour long Emmerdale with my Mum tonight as I'm staying clear of the pub. This was only entertaining as neither of us really watch Emmerdale and so kept asking each other who everyone was. Who is Linda Lusardi in it? That was the only one we couldn't figure out. It was like the blind leading the blind!
I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I will be going to Ian Brown on Monday in Derby. Paul said he will get him to sign my huge photo Liz gave me and I'll get a snap of me and him for my wall for when I finally leave this place. But that was last Wednesday and I haven't seen him since then to make sure. Like I said....fingers crossed. Perhaps I will call in to the Pot tomorrow to remind him.
I do it all the bloody time and every time I tell myself it will be the last but no.
No I've not gone all Amy Winehouse and been self harming....well, I have kind of...I picked all my bloody false nails off this morning instead of soaking them off like you are supposed to. I'm down to about 2 layers of nail material. Its a vicious circle....my nails are shit so I sometimes stick fake ones on. This then makes my nails even worse so I have to put them on again...blah blah blah. The sun on holiday just about sorted them out only upon returning I got fed up of my man hands and stuck more on.
Well that's it I tell you. No more. I couldn't even get the battery out of my mobile today. (Ricks phone was dead and so as I seldom get calls and have had no credit since Saturday I let him use mine.)
Well, today wasn't outstanding in any way. My nails have hurt and I had a minging cake from Cheshire Gap. They were the lows. The man at the Chinese near the Blueberry gave me a can of coke and some prawn crackers when we were working there today, that was probably my only high! I'm so skint at the minute it is untrue. I am even working at Porters on Saturday night because my finances are that stacked! Holidays ey? Why do we bother?
I had the joy of watching the hour long Emmerdale with my Mum tonight as I'm staying clear of the pub. This was only entertaining as neither of us really watch Emmerdale and so kept asking each other who everyone was. Who is Linda Lusardi in it? That was the only one we couldn't figure out. It was like the blind leading the blind!
I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I will be going to Ian Brown on Monday in Derby. Paul said he will get him to sign my huge photo Liz gave me and I'll get a snap of me and him for my wall for when I finally leave this place. But that was last Wednesday and I haven't seen him since then to make sure. Like I said....fingers crossed. Perhaps I will call in to the Pot tomorrow to remind him.
Sunday, October 07, 2007
WHEN SECURITY IS DROPPED
Ok, I am back in the public domain again. I have got over my paranoia. I think I will even make a more conscience effort to post.
Still a tad frayed from drinking last night I took the beagle to Wincle for a walk with Ms Johnson. T'was divine. I am now going to feast on a dinner of parsnips which I have cooked with maple syrup (as we have no honey) and rosemary.
Parsnips are back to the top spot on my favourite vegetables list. Apologies to broccoli.
Still a tad frayed from drinking last night I took the beagle to Wincle for a walk with Ms Johnson. T'was divine. I am now going to feast on a dinner of parsnips which I have cooked with maple syrup (as we have no honey) and rosemary.
Parsnips are back to the top spot on my favourite vegetables list. Apologies to broccoli.
Saturday, October 06, 2007
TWAT-WATCH
That cockney shit head (boy, can I just carry a grudge?) drove past me on Chester Road about 2pm yesterday. So ladies beware...he is still in town, lock up your daughters
WHEN YOU LET SLEEPING DOGS LIE
I kep waking up early, well, 6am anyway so thought I'd take the hound out before I go to work only the lazy thing wont get up.
Well, you cant say I didnt try.
I like it when its still dark out in the am.
Latest estimate is that I am going in 7 weeks, but you of course you understand this could always change.
More news at 11.
Well, you cant say I didnt try.
I like it when its still dark out in the am.
Latest estimate is that I am going in 7 weeks, but you of course you understand this could always change.
More news at 11.
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
WHEN PEOPLE RECAP
The more I think about it the more surprised I am to have finally made it home in one piece.
Me and Marisa left Kay, Yarnold, Chris and Clairey in Thailand and headed back to Hong Kong on Saturday. For the record, I am now officially OFF chinese food. Like totally dude. I cant remember what we did Saturday night, oh yeah, we went for sushi and I drank too much of something in Lychees in it. It was there across from a bar in Lan Kwai Fong that I saw a sign for sleeping pills.
Now, I don't mind flying, but I had done quite a fair bit over the last two weeks so I bought some, they came in a plastic bag of 20.
On the Sunday we walked around some shopping place whilst my vision gradually faded in my left eye (after accidentally getting contact lens solution mixed up with DEET) then we headed back so I could put my glasses on.
With not much else to do we went for a spot of reflexology at the Joy Foot Club next door. I pointed out my right big toe which had turned a worrying purple colour after I banged it doing my Tina Turner impression in Chewang two nights before. She was gentle on that toe but squeezed, rubbed and poked the life out of my calves. The we had time to go up to the peak, look at the view at night and had some food. Marisa left to go back to Sydney that evening.
It was from here on in that things went wrong. Now I always thought I was quite streetwise and savvy so spending the day negotiating trains, boats and buses by my self in HK would be ok. Well, after getting up and going out to find an ATM (cos I have a stupid card that the hotel said they couldn't take) I managed to get lost. No one understood me when I asked where "Tims Square" was. Found it, had no cash cos I had somehow apparently spent it all. Missed check out and got charged an extra $100. After a long time of me trying to explain that I had no money and therefore couldn't pay for the 2 nights and room service I owed to the good people at the Cosmopolitan Hotel they eventually decided to take my bank card.
By this time I was stressed so decided to f**k off my trip to the Big Buddha and decided not to risk being stuck penniless in Hong Kong so went to the airport, 8 hours early.
I was too early to check in and already bored after 10 minutes so I bought Take A Break and Heat magazine. In Take A Break (the Jeremy kyle of magazines) there was a letter from some Lance Corporal in Basra asking for pen pals for 'our boys overseas'....it seemed to be a good way to spend 7 hours so I bought a Hello Kitty pad and pen proceeded to write the worlds most boring and longest letter to someone I don't know about Pot Noodles and bitter. Some poor guy will be fast asleep in Basra with 20 pages of Hello Kitty paper in front of him right now as I type!
Anyway, where was I? Oh yes....My plane wasn't on the board when its time came up so I asked at 3 wrong desks until I found out it had been delayed until 3.05am (so it was 3 hours 45 minutes late...and I had already been there for 8 hours.) I got a credit note from Swiss Air to apologise for the delay for $75 HKD, sounds a lot but its only in fact about a fiver.
So I drank that in Tsing Tao lager then fell asleep, got on the plane for 3am. Now, I haven't had sleeping pills before, this was my first time. I took my contact lenses out (which the rude man next to me who spoke no english, infact he didnt even grunt any form of excuse me as he pushed past me knocking one of my lenses flying), settled down for the night and took one. Some time later I woke up, turned n the screen to see where I was and I was only 2 hours into the flight so I had two more. This happened every two hours. I remember mining sleeping pills to the man next to me and offered him 2.
Next think I know I am stood in Zurich airport thinking "I need a ticket to Manchester". I was so disorientated. All the signs said 10am so I panicked thinking I had missed my flight. Walked into (literally) a help desk to ask where to go. Noticed I had already infact checked in and got my ticket, god only knows how that happened. Was told to go to desk A35. All the signs then said A35, I asked the lady which of the 20 signs I saw saying A35 it was and explained that I had had some sleeping pills. She pointed out my route and told me to get a coffee. I then walked into a handrail and next thing I'm in Manchester Airport waiting for my bag. After realising that all the other people waiting for their luggage were all red and pink I left the belt where bags were being dropped off from Spain and found my right baggage place.
Went to get a taxi, asked them If I looked stupid when they told me it was £33 for a taxi home which is only 12 miles away. Rang my Dad and told him I was going to walk home then after 10 minutes I relented and got the £33 taxi and cried all the way home cos it was so dear.
I went to bed and woke up on Wednesday sometime.
17 sleeping tablets I had had in total. I don't remember a bloody thing but what I do freaks me out cos none of it felt real. Still, I managed to make it here via another country in one piece so maybe I'm quite streetwise and savvy after all.
Me and Marisa left Kay, Yarnold, Chris and Clairey in Thailand and headed back to Hong Kong on Saturday. For the record, I am now officially OFF chinese food. Like totally dude. I cant remember what we did Saturday night, oh yeah, we went for sushi and I drank too much of something in Lychees in it. It was there across from a bar in Lan Kwai Fong that I saw a sign for sleeping pills.
Now, I don't mind flying, but I had done quite a fair bit over the last two weeks so I bought some, they came in a plastic bag of 20.
On the Sunday we walked around some shopping place whilst my vision gradually faded in my left eye (after accidentally getting contact lens solution mixed up with DEET) then we headed back so I could put my glasses on.
With not much else to do we went for a spot of reflexology at the Joy Foot Club next door. I pointed out my right big toe which had turned a worrying purple colour after I banged it doing my Tina Turner impression in Chewang two nights before. She was gentle on that toe but squeezed, rubbed and poked the life out of my calves. The we had time to go up to the peak, look at the view at night and had some food. Marisa left to go back to Sydney that evening.
It was from here on in that things went wrong. Now I always thought I was quite streetwise and savvy so spending the day negotiating trains, boats and buses by my self in HK would be ok. Well, after getting up and going out to find an ATM (cos I have a stupid card that the hotel said they couldn't take) I managed to get lost. No one understood me when I asked where "Tims Square" was. Found it, had no cash cos I had somehow apparently spent it all. Missed check out and got charged an extra $100. After a long time of me trying to explain that I had no money and therefore couldn't pay for the 2 nights and room service I owed to the good people at the Cosmopolitan Hotel they eventually decided to take my bank card.
By this time I was stressed so decided to f**k off my trip to the Big Buddha and decided not to risk being stuck penniless in Hong Kong so went to the airport, 8 hours early.
I was too early to check in and already bored after 10 minutes so I bought Take A Break and Heat magazine. In Take A Break (the Jeremy kyle of magazines) there was a letter from some Lance Corporal in Basra asking for pen pals for 'our boys overseas'....it seemed to be a good way to spend 7 hours so I bought a Hello Kitty pad and pen proceeded to write the worlds most boring and longest letter to someone I don't know about Pot Noodles and bitter. Some poor guy will be fast asleep in Basra with 20 pages of Hello Kitty paper in front of him right now as I type!
Anyway, where was I? Oh yes....My plane wasn't on the board when its time came up so I asked at 3 wrong desks until I found out it had been delayed until 3.05am (so it was 3 hours 45 minutes late...and I had already been there for 8 hours.) I got a credit note from Swiss Air to apologise for the delay for $75 HKD, sounds a lot but its only in fact about a fiver.
So I drank that in Tsing Tao lager then fell asleep, got on the plane for 3am. Now, I haven't had sleeping pills before, this was my first time. I took my contact lenses out (which the rude man next to me who spoke no english, infact he didnt even grunt any form of excuse me as he pushed past me knocking one of my lenses flying), settled down for the night and took one. Some time later I woke up, turned n the screen to see where I was and I was only 2 hours into the flight so I had two more. This happened every two hours. I remember mining sleeping pills to the man next to me and offered him 2.
Next think I know I am stood in Zurich airport thinking "I need a ticket to Manchester". I was so disorientated. All the signs said 10am so I panicked thinking I had missed my flight. Walked into (literally) a help desk to ask where to go. Noticed I had already infact checked in and got my ticket, god only knows how that happened. Was told to go to desk A35. All the signs then said A35, I asked the lady which of the 20 signs I saw saying A35 it was and explained that I had had some sleeping pills. She pointed out my route and told me to get a coffee. I then walked into a handrail and next thing I'm in Manchester Airport waiting for my bag. After realising that all the other people waiting for their luggage were all red and pink I left the belt where bags were being dropped off from Spain and found my right baggage place.
Went to get a taxi, asked them If I looked stupid when they told me it was £33 for a taxi home which is only 12 miles away. Rang my Dad and told him I was going to walk home then after 10 minutes I relented and got the £33 taxi and cried all the way home cos it was so dear.
I went to bed and woke up on Wednesday sometime.
17 sleeping tablets I had had in total. I don't remember a bloody thing but what I do freaks me out cos none of it felt real. Still, I managed to make it here via another country in one piece so maybe I'm quite streetwise and savvy after all.
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