WHEN YOUR PET IS LIKE CLIFF RICHARD

It is with great sadness that I must report that there will be no little Jeremy puppies this year.
He was left alone with the bitch for a few days and sadly he just does not know what to do. Seemingly this is quite rare as all dogs like shagging, its only mine that does not.

See, he really is Cliff Richard.

Its nice to have him home though. I bought him a p.i.m.p red leatheresque collar with 3 row diamontes on it to celebrate his stud-dom. This was before I learnt he had not infact sealed the deal. Still, I gave it to him anyway. Jeremy could not look gayer. I kind of like it.

Took him for a walk this morning and lost my key out of my pocket somewhere on the way. After retracing my steps 4 hours later I found it on the wall opposite Sainsburys. Having a big minging Lock Ness key ring on it worked in my favour this time.

I re-ordered the crate for Jezza to travel in. I picked a bigger one thats about £120. He really is the tallest beagle in the world.

Went swimming, talked of going horse riding but it began to throw it down so decided against it.

This really is as exciting as it gets for me. I dont even have any MKB or Blind Tony stories to throw in as I haven't been in the pub.

Think I might go to Porters on Friday for a few.......