ITS A CONSTANT BATTLE

This is what my life is like. One fucking act of destruction after another.

I clean the flat, turn around and the beagle will have either....
1. chewed something.
2.pissed on something.
3. tore up something.
4. unearthed it and got it all over the floor.

ARgh... Now I have never had children but surely this must be like having a toddler with a crayon in its hand and writing all ovwer the walls...ONLY EVERY BLOODY DAY.

He does not learn.

Now, I realise (or so I was told) that there is no such thing as a bad dog, just bad dog owners. But I really dont think you can lay this on me anymore. He pissed all over the bedsheets I had taken out of the drier and left momentarily on the floor last night. I just cried. Cried, cried, cried and cried
Today I washed, washed, washed and washed. Hired a carpet cleaner and cleaned, cleaned, cleaned and cleaned. Im at my wits end.

To cheer myself up I bought myself a new bottle of Lolita Lempicka (100ML!). (Dont anyone get any ideas, its my perfume. No one else is allowed to wear it. I claimed it years ago). I did smell someone else wearing it once but that was in London so I congratulated her on excellent taste and let her off!

Anyway, where was I. Oh yes, Jeremy the shithouse....

Did I show you his handywork??

They were the genuine article.
Proper Johnnie Boy Preston styleee.

Gone.
Ruined.
Bastardo.

So, when Im in Canada Im gonna treat myself to a brand new pair.
Hell, I might even get spurs. Like to see the little "C U Next Tuesday" eat them!!!