DOWNTIME

Yes, I know its been awhile. I have been working for what seems an eternity. Then, made worse by people continuously asking me if I had a good Christmas.As good as working everday gets. Now no more talk of Christmas.


The reason for my absence is (apart from there being only 24 hours in a day) that once again the shithead himself - Jeremy had eaten through my modem cable. Yesterday he chewed my pack of pills. I found monday, saturday and sunday on the floor but thursday is still missing. I am nearing my wits end.
2 more foam jager bricks have since gone to the jager brick heaven in the sky and what else??....2 flashing jager lights, a box of needles, red wool all over the floor and the houses from monopoly are no more. I would have taken a pic of the distruction only I cannot find my camera. I fear hes eaten it too.

DEAR ANNIE......WHATS IN A NAME?

Ex RTL Radio Luxembourg presenter and Canadian David Jensen presented a weekday evening show on Radio 1, from 1977 to 1984.
He earned the name 'Kid' while working for Radio Luxembourg, because he was the youngest of all the deejays at the station. It was fellow disc jockey Paul Burnett who christened him the Kid, and the name stuck!
Born 1950 as in Victoria, British Columbia, David worked for a local station presenting classical music whilst still at school. He originally intended to study to be an oceanographer, but became 'sidetracked' into the disc jockey world. He came to Europe and joined RTL at 18, where he met his wife Gudrun.
He stayed with Luxy for 6½ years, before being signed up for the BBC in September 1976.
Kid Jensen was also at Radio Trent for
just over a year in 1975.

In the early part of that period, he presented the weekday 4.30 pm slot, playing progressive music. He then left the UK and briefly worked at CNN in the US (as one of the original launch team). Soon after, he returned to Radio One presenting the weekday evening slot, starting at 7 or 8pm.
David Jensen was known for his offbeat dress sense. His musical passion was new wave; bands such as The Jam and the Stranglers.
He left R1 to host the new Sunday Nescafe 'Network Chart Show' until 1991 on Independent Radio as well as the Capital FM mid-morning show (moving to drivetime in 1987 until 1998).
From that year, David went on to present the same slot on London's Heart 106.2 FM.
From 5th June 2002 he presented the Late Show on London based Capital Gold AM. The show is networked on ILR stations throughout the UK as well as digital satellite. David Jensen moved to the mid-morning slot on Capital Gold (10am-1pm) as of Monday 24 February 2003. 

I GET THE STRANGEST OF IM'S.....

erm......quite!
NO 

IM FEELING LIKE THIS

note to self....go to the gym

ROBBED

Can you believe he only came 2nd in the dog show?
I demand a recount









S'pose he has big ears thou' 

LANGEY FETE

Only cost a quid. I was hammered on Summer Lightning. Immense.
I later got chucked out of the rock for falling asleep at the bar. Oh the shame. I later fell asleep at home unwashed. The dray came at 8am and I opened the door to them, scared the shit out of them and wondered why......I forgot I was still KISSed up. Strangely I had clean pillows. How did that happen?















Langley fete is without a doubt my most favourite event of the year.....well, that or Peover fair. I cant decide. 

SHAKING LIKE THE PROVERBIAL

Shitting dog

 

YAY, YAY AND THRICE YAY

Saw Paul today. All is back on track. God he is one good looking boy. I usually wouldnt go on about it only the fortune teller at langley fair told me he was the one.I think I have some Langley Fair pics on here....remind me to post one.

Oh, p.s. I have been drinking btw.those lovely folk from the Fools Nook got me on the Jager and Sambuca.Mega.

Annie and I worked our tails off tonight in sweltering tropical conditions, so Yay us.

Skidface is locking up tonight. I have just been down to check. Seems like some illeagal poker-a-thon has broke out, check it out....











Smiffy has brought his own chips, Lindsay looks like a ZX spectrum loading and I told Glynn to look dodgy.

Im Edward Bedward anyway.Night. 

DRUNKEN RAMBLINGS

OMG, I dont even remember writing any of that. Damn that Smirnoff. (I damn thee!)...damn these glasses.
Ahh, The jerk..what a movie....

(steve martin):The new phone book's here. The new phone book's here. This is the kind of spontaneous publicity I need. My name in print. That really makes somebody. Things are going to start happening to me now..... (sniper):Navin R Johnson, sounds like a typical ass hole.Die you random son of a bitch.

AS KATY PEARCEY WOULD SAY.....WUUUURRRRR

Im getting fed up now. I understand he has work problems but Im sure I should be getting more attention. Paul has now (officially), although he doesnt know, 14 days to redeem himself. from then on in I get bored. I understand thats a long time, but he is a boy and therefore is rubbish. oh , Im pissed.....did I mention that?

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'VE GOT NO BACARDI?"

This is probably an out of order moan, but dont some people just turn in to proper twats at Christmas? Im all for going out drinking, but I dont get these people who only come out once a year therefore dont know how to behave in a pub. They drive me mental.

Yes, so we ran out of Bacardi. Im sorry, it was busy. So after the twentieth "What do you mean you've got no Bacardi? How can you have no Bacardi?Oi, John, they've got no Bacardi..."
"Well, we were going to close the pub" quipps I "but we thought we'd try and struggle through without Bacardi".

I only had to kick some pissed bird out of the gents once and cleaned up one shower of sick (still not as bad as the lap dancers spew of last Sunday)...but this Friday is the big one. What a god awful day the Friday before Christmas is. My least favourite of the year.

ITS OFFICIAL

I am now, finally freaking out about Christmas.

BACK ONLINE

I have always blamed the fact that my computing skills are wank because the only computer teaching we had at school was how to play Chuckie Egg on the BBC. But I suppose now at nearly 31 (19 days away to be precise) I could have picked up a bit of knowledge....

Sorry, this is making no sense. It has taken me 5 hours to get connected to the tinternet today.Why? Im not sure exactly.....No DSL ADsomething connector, no modem (although I can see that it is infact still there)
AAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHH....but anyway. Dont know what I did but its working again. Lets see how long it takes me tomorrow.

Yesterday was lovely. My cockney came in to see me. I hate the fact that I went off in a big mood last week. Why do I work myself up in to some paranoid state? (FYI....I think I know, I think its vodkas fault) Just cos I got a few phone calls from some crank bird. I explained how I let my imagination run away into wrongsville. He looks so stressed at the minute, work appears to be testing. Then, just like that he had to go again. He was coming back later but then found out he had to start work at 7am daan saarf this morning and decided it would make more sense to drive down at night instead at 4am.

So all is cool again.

Ive got a right load of work ahead of me. A whole load of AZ engineers are coming in for there annual piss up / apprentice drinking innitiation session. Super busy. Then Roys lot are in on Friday, thats means I have to make about 10, 000 000 sandwiches -which is my most hated of all jobs. I also how to figure out how they are going to pay for it on their credit card when the bleeders at Streamline havent fitted my machine yet. Umm...bugger. Anyway, blah blah blah work blah .

I have decided that I probably will restart at the gym tomorrow. Im getting lazy. I just have to get through tonight without drinking. Should be no problem. Fingers crossed.

WHERE ARE THEY NOW??

The Rebel MC docks in at Hovis Mill at Macc
(you know what it is, hes just street tuff)

HIT ME BABY ONE MORE TIME

 

MYRA BENSON HINDLEY

 

DEAR GOD, NO!

Not the Berocca.....

 

WORLD OF PAIN

it is true....I am there once again

WWW.PORTERSPRINCEOFWALES.CO.UK

Well, its been awhile since they suspended my website but Im informed its back on line now. I didnt think anyone looked at it so I stopped updating it a while ago. Since its been offline however I have found out that people do look at it, so I guess I'll have to do some work on it after all.

God I feel rough today. I have ran out of toothpaste which didnt help me this morning. I really dont want to go out on the Pubwatch Christmas drink thing tonight, but I dont know how to get out of it. I have that much to do today that I already know Im going to get none of it done. Blimey, my english is bad. Need to sleep...

SATURDAY AGAIN

Im bored of the pictures now.

Its my least favourite of all days today. Today being Saturday. Although I dont start work until 6pm, so its not that bad I guess.

Last night the bloody beagle chewed through the alarm cable again. Twice!! Once when the pub was open then again at 2am.Luckily I had fallen asleep on the settee watching vintage ER on More 4 so I heard it straight away.
Lindsay (my brother Lindsay) came around this morning and fixed it again. Now we've nailed the carpet down so Jeremy cant get to it.....or are these famous last words??

The cockney is in London again tonight at the boxing. Front row seats he tells me. I havent seen him all week so I may have been a bit shitty with the texting.I've given up asking when he can next squeeze me in.Im so not used to having a boy that works!!! Ha Ha Ha!!

So, tomorrow?? Im wondering if the alphabet pub crawl I invented when out with Linz on Monday would work tomorrow? What with it being Sunday and all...

Shit, is that the time? I best get a move on. Blimey, blogging sure can take up your life.

HELLO OZ??

Lyndz and Marisa before they left me and went back to Australia.










This way I will find out if they are reading my blog or not as its bound to get a response 

OPERATION BOGSEY

A vintage moment.......

After learning that former X factor star Bogsey was doing the security at the marquee at Macc Rugby club for its 125 anniversary (ie. he was sleeping in it over night) we thought we'd perform an SAS type manouvre. We got camo'd up, got a taxi to Priory Park where we were going to scale the fence, crawl along the field and tie him up.











Alas this did not work as he saw us pull up in the taxis and we were rumbled as soon as we got over the fence.
Bah! Best laid plans and all that....

I am particuliarly proud of the "swag" I wrote on Mikey B's head in shoe polish. Worth it just for that!

R KELLY NEVER CAME TO THE ROACHES IN 2003

Ok...I have been AWOL for awhile, so to make up I shall treat you to some of the pics I have found on my pc after putting Picasa on it.
This little beauty (!) is from a few years go. Me, Mum, Marisa, Matt and Benson went up the Roaches to try and exorcise the demon hangovers that were possessing us.....















Its one of those 'you had to be there' things, but the day before in the Drum and Monkey, me and Tote were finding it hilarious to sing along to R Kelly's Bump and Grind
"i dont see nothing wrong, with a little park and ride...
(Tote being from York which has an unrivaled park and ride system)
Imagine my amazement when the next day I find that I had found something wrong with a bit of park and ride.

FYI...if you cant make it out the poster says that there is no park and ride untill easter 2004.

THE GOING ONS OF ROE STREET

looks like Carla is going to be in the paper again.
There is a big crane outside putting a massive big tube through the 3rd story window. This can only be the screen. So, as Macc is one more step closer to having a cinema I can only imagine that its time for the Macc Express to weed out that pic of Carla again. How many times have they used it now lady? 

ITS ALL SO QUIET

Its so lovely when ther is no one in!


 

PLEASE BE UPSTANDING

Behold, the Jagermeister Machine










We are not worthy 

DEAR GENTLEMEN.....

Here is the ladies, So I dont need to be catching any of you in there anymore do I? Now you know what it looks like 

....AND AGAIN

 

DEAR LADIES......

Here is the Gents 

VERY DICKENS

Here is the tree now I've finally got it up. Well, I say I...My Mom of course did all the decorating. Isn't it cosy? I still hate Christmas though! 

THIS MORNINGS CASUALTY

Here lies the remains of Jeremys latest victim.
From a large family of 8, this brick is survived by 4 remaining 'brothers.'
R.I.P. Jagermeister brick number 4.....a ceremony will be held for him tonight whence I return from (if I return from)the mulled wine fest of today. Ladies and gentlemen, charge your glasses please......... 

WHY JEREMY? WHY

Why would he force open the bathroom door and chew my make up?
Why? You 've seen the size of his bone, right? Then why? Does he hate me? Should I be taking this personally? I only went upstairs for ten minutes.Why Jeremy?Why?

I give up

Cath3rine needs a pint.

THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT?

I was in TJ Hughes today buying glasses. I don't know if you are familiar with how you buy glasses in TJ's. It is I imagine how you would buy glasses from anywhere. There are a few different designs that come in different shapes.You pick up the ones you want and take them to the till. Not hard!?
The guy at the check out in front of me had bought 4 hi-ball glassess. The boy working the till asked if he wanted one of them wrapped seperatley from the other 3. "why would I want that?" asked the man in a reet shitey tone. "Well," explained the boy, because one its different. The man then started going off at the kid...

"Why is it different?
It is supposed to be the same.
WHY ARE THEY NOT THE SAME??
THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO BE THE SAME"
he's getting abit angry now...

So the boy pointed out how you can tell they are different as they have totally different patterns on them...

OK.....

I realise now that this is probably the 3rd most boring story I have ever heard, right after Lindsay's facinating tale about the time he bought some american cream soda from the shop across the road from the college and my interesting tale of the time I had a drifter. I appologise. I guess you had to be there. Infact, no, if you were there it wouldn't have been interesting.

I'd delete all this and start again and tell you about the man I caught pissing outside Bon Marche at 1o'clock this afternoon but I have typed all of this one handed whilst eating a sandwich and its taken me awhile.

I will shut up now.

SHOULD I GO OR NOT?

This is going to be another one of those times when I know I'm going to kick myself later.
Ian Brown is playing tonight at the MEN arena in town.

I like Ian Brown, and Paul (who knows him and is working the stage for him tonight) has got free tickets.
I had already decided that I wasn't going to go as....

1. I am broke

2. I am putting my tree up tomorrow and it takes forever to sort the pub out Christmas stylieee

3. I have shit loads to do before my stocktake on Monday morning and I need to be with it tomorrow

4. We are short enough on the bar tonight as it is without me buggering off and I suffer hugely with guilt

5. I've seen him loads before

But since I have had the carrot dangled infront of me again with talk of famous people and aftershow parties I started to change my mind.

Because....

1. Ian Brown is immense

2. Its going to be untold (as the bear says) although I would probably be going on about it for weeks

3. I could pull in some favours and get someone to cover for me

4. I probably wouldn't actually spend that much money

5. I hate missing out on things

6. I could still do all my stuff tomorrow (although it would be more of a struggle)

So I thought I would ask my invisible man Paul,a different Paul, my kind of cockney piece who is never here if he fancied it. He is, of course not here. Hes all proper cockney and off watching The Arsenal or what ever they call them at Bolton.He is unfamiliar with Mr Brown but I thought talk of backstage and aftershow parties would tempt him....it did not.

So, adding that to my list I have again decided not to go. However,I just know its going to be the best night and I will be sick for days after hearing about it.

I dont like responsible Cath3rine. She is rubbish.

To compensate then I have decided to get involved with all my paperwork tomorrow like a good girl, have it all ready for the stocktaker at 8am Monday morning....and then go out all Monday in Manchester and get cunted (sorry mother for using the C word) (yes, she is a reader!!) at the fancy foreign markets on mulled wine. BRING IT ON

And that my friends is how you deal with catholic guilt!

Kiss me bad self x

THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE BELOW THE OTHER ONE

For some reason I am unable to post 2 pictures in the same posting. I would like to blame it on the computer but it is I infact who is rubbish.