I am now 7 hours behind Macc. The clocks don't go forward or backwards here.
I just noticed.

KATHRYN WILLIAMS: no-one takes you home

Aww, I forgot about this song....

*DOWNTIME*

I'm quite uninspired at the minute hence the lack of postings. Instead of pouring out lots of drivel I'm just not going to say anything.
I'm off to Vegas on Thursday so hopefully will return with some more blogthusiasm.

Until then apologies.

SEW ITS QUILTING FOR ME

Well it finally happened today. It rained.
When I say rain it was more like snow that melted and just because its been so long since I've been out in it I am calling it rain.
It was windy aswell, really windy. When I cycled home from work it was wet, windy and grey out. It almost made me a little homesick.

Ok, I am joking with the homesick thing but it was a lot like home weather wise today. To get away from the bleakness I treated myself to a go on the sunbed. You wouldnt believe the price...$84 for 500 minutes!!! So thats £42 for 500 minutes, what was I paying before? I think it was £40 for 100 minutes, something like that. Blimey. I'm off to Vegas in a week and a half so I thought I best get my skin adjusted to sun as its been suffering minus degrees for a longtime now.

I havent really wrote much cos I havent really done much, just work and dog walking. We walked up to the farm yesterday to get Jeremy a bone. H came back with a cows tail which was quite repulsive, hes eaten it all now though. We walked past the gut pile, I will walk back up there and take some pictures I promise...its minging. There are even 2 dead coyotes there and some cows stomaches that look like they are about to explode. It will well put you off your dinner I can tell you!

Thats about it, I have decided that quilting is the way forward. I want to learn how to do quilts. So this is my new mission, lets see if by this time next year I have done anything about it....

I KNEW I SPOKE TOO SOON

Its snowing out again isn't it!?
Bah!

I have gone from thinking I couldn't handle not having a mobile phone to not having one for about 120 days, and I am fine!
There is life free from the ties of the mobile!

DEMONS OUT

Well, its the weekend. I have just finished work and have pigged out on pistachio jello.Now I cannot move.
I was reading the National Examiner during my break today. There is this stupid psychic man in it called Tony Legget, he's holding a "Heal-Athon" tomorrow where he will...get this...pray for you for free if you fill in a slip and mail it to him. This will all go down at 2pm my time (3pm Eastern Time,1pm Mountain Time and Noon Pacific Time). Ha ha ha, here is his prayer...

My life is filled with an abundance of blessings. Divine healing encompasses and penetrates my entire being making me healthy and whole and manifests in all who ask. The universe is filled with love, peace and joy creating a world of understanding and harmony.

What a load of rubbish. I did tell my Dad about this when I first read it last week. I'm going to visit him in hospital tomorrow (he's not been feeling very well) I'll mention it to him then....see if he fancies getting involved in Tom Leggets Heal-Athon!!! It might even be Dr Tom Legget, I cant remember.

I've gone off booze this past week, so I think I'm just going to have a quiet one and stay in tonight. Although the tv better get better than stupid Mr Big on Law & Order. Bring back Pile, he's my favourite. (Also for the record I HATE Horratio and his stupid Miami team....gimme CSI:NY and Lieutenant Dan anyday.)

What is it with me? As soon as I write that I have gone off booze I can SMELL BOTTLECAPS. I can, I really can. Oh, I do love the bottlecaps.

In other news....Crowther, if you are reading this then can you email me or something? I haven't heard from you for time. Thank you.

LAW & ORDER

I much prefer it with Private Pyle than I do the ones with Mr Big and Cybils ginger daughter team.

Just thought I'd set that record straight.

I AM STOKEY HEAR ME ROAR

I finally got around to it. It took me 7 attempts until the first one bore any resemblance to one but here we go....

I finally make me some oatcakes.
They look like oatcakes and now they are cold they feel like oatcakes, only I fear they may be a little salty. Not as salty as a Otis Spunkmeyer cookie, I'll try them properly tomorrow for dinner. By properly I of course mean with tomatoes, onion and a little cheese.

I am very excited. I also have some banana muffins in the oven...they can only be good.

WEATHER MATHS

I have not seen rain for over 109 days.
How good is that!

I HOPE I'M NOT GETTING AHEAD OF MYSELF

...but yeah, the snow is melting. This got me getting excited about summer again and about something else. Every single April/May I always got hayfever, annoying hayfever you know the tree pollen induced one. I'm banking on that not being a problem this year as there are no trees. Well, I saw one today whilst out walking the dog.

No, of course there are trees, but not many and not like the ones at home so fingers crossed I'll be laying off the Piriton this year. Get In.

MY MUM AND MARK DAVID CHAPMAN

I watching Forrest Gump a few months ago and you know the bit when they make it look like Forrest is on the tv show with John Lennon? Well my Mum came out with "He's a prick" I ask "who? Forrest?" She says "No, John Lennon". I just remembered that gem....she also doesn't like Jay-Z.

ANALYSE THIS

The other night I dreamt that I was awake. I really was awake. So I got some paper and wrote a note to prove that I was awake and not dreaming it. My writing looked too good so I tried to make it look worse so it would look like I thought I was asleep when I was really awake.I started with a brown berol felt pen which ran out so I had to use the only other one to hand which was a yellow one, much harder to read on the white paper (that was stapled together into make shift pads). This went on for pages and pages. Anything I wanted to see I could make appear before my eyes, then I was upstairs in Shelleys shoe shop in Manchester. That's when I realised that I wasn't awake at all.

Bloody confusing, it still came as a surprise though to awake in the morning and not find any of the scrawlings I did whilst awake/asleep. I really was convinced I was awake. Now I'm beginning to doubt my one and only "(near) out of body experience" when I thought I successfully astrally projected myself. I'm not happy about that because I definitely thought that was real.

Back in the real world I'm lying in bed listening to The Brotherhood Of Man, I'm off to Swift today for Alanna's shower and stagette party tonight. Already I'm trying to think what I should drink today/tonight. After spending my life being spoilt in English Pubs I never know what avenue to go down here in Canadian Bars, I definitely have gone off lager. I drink too fast for spirits/wine. Cider is few and far between and Bitter is....well...unheard of. I could just do a session on the Deuchars, that's what I'm missing. Oh, decisions decisions.....

I think I'll start on ceasers. Nice.

A LITTLE KNOWN BUT TRUE FACT

My brother used to have a Care Bear.

He is in denial of this fact but I remember it.
Its true....it was Wish Bear.

WHEEL. OF. FORTUNE.

I was watching
*shouts*
WHEEL
*shouts*
OF
*shouts*
FORTUNE

*applause*

Anyway, the clue for the prize puzzle was 'Before/After'

the letters out were

_RT_F_C__L
H_P H_P
___R_Y

And the person got it. Well when I say the person got it I mean that the host said it was right.
I dont understand it myself.....


Oh, the answer???

Artificial Hip Hip Horay

Of course! What else would it be????

Teatime tv is bobbins here. Give me Hollyoaks anyday of the week

A,B,C TO ZINC

I cant believe how much I am aching when I get up in the morning lately. Im noy liking it. I was lying there this morning trying to figure out what it might be or what might make it better when I remembered what that medium psychic bird told me back in May. She did tell me to take vitamins for a while cos I was going to get run down. I remember she said something about ten months, cant remember if she said I needed to take them for ten months or if in ten months it would get worse...either way its ten months and Im knackered. I of course never took her advice and never took any vitamins but I went down to the Co-Op today and bought me the biggest jar of multi vitamins I could find. She was right about me moving to Canada so I'll listen to her on the health front. I dont eat right anyway.

Then, decided to go for a walk with the hound. There is a big red barn across some fields here so we walked to that and back. Bloody thing was miles away wasnt it, took us three and a half hours. Although its still cold out (-17 at the minute temperature watchers!) the sun was shining,the sky was blue and there wasn't a cloud in sight....cosequentley I have sunburnt my face with giant panda eyes from my sunglasses.

Ok, they are my only moans. Glad I got them out of the way.

I made some carrot cakes today, they are bloody lovely.

That is all, goodnight.

HOW TO TALK CANADIAN

Po-tay-to
Po-tar-to
Toe-may-to
Toe-mar-to

Forget all that, check out this one
In Canada its called "poutine"
In England its called "chips, cheese and gravy"

We really could be more inventive with our names dont you think?
Poutine indeed!